The Adventures of Ferret Boy
by ex-LongLongHair
Summary: Not PG yet...although it will be. ::laughs evilly:: It's about Ferret Boy-who else?
1. Ferret Boy

A/N: Returning to school tomorrow has given me another bout of insanity-this time, it's Ferret Boy

A/N: Returning to school tomorrow has given me another bout of insanity-this time, it's Ferret Boy!

****

Ferret Boy: Your new superhero!

Complete with silver cape, leather pants and green undies(to be worn on the outside)

Is it an owl? Is it a broomstick? No, it's...FERRET BOY!!!

With the strength of half a human,

With the looks of a (drowned) rat,

With that floppy silvery-blond hair,

With those stone gray eyes,

With those muscles, (what muscles?)

He will defeat...

Uh, well...haven't quite gotten up to that yet.

Oh well, the adventures of Ferret Boy are coming soon to a computer near you!

A/N: Er...yes. Please review! The adventures of Ferret Boy are coming soon, but not without your help. Should he

  1. encounter a fierce beast
  2. go one on one against his arch-enemy, The Potter
  3. save his darling girlfriend from the clutches of an evil maniac
  4. save the world?
  5. other

Vote for your favourite scenario-if you chose other, please specify. All input is welcomed. 

Flames will be used for various purposes...


	2. The pros and cons of Broom Cupboards...a...

A/N: Well, after reading all of my wonderful reviews, I thought I'd better actually start writing this

A/N: Well, after reading all of my wonderful reviews, I thought I'd better actually start writing this. Sorry about the delay, I started school 2 days ago and I've been quite busy. And for those of you who wanted to know how to do the scrolling text thingy-firstly, you have to be using Microsoft Internet Explorer. It goes like this:

marquee loop="infinite" Your text here / marquee 

Set the loop to infinite for it to keep scrolling, or stick a number in its place if you only want it to scroll a few times. If you've got any problems, go to [www.htmlgoodies.com][1] -that's where I got it from. So don't ask me.

Okay, now on with the story. I decided to do uh, well…all options. Well, the ones I can remember-the actual fanfic is on the other computer. Oh well, I'll see how this goes…

**The Adventures of Ferret Boy**

The Pros and Cons of Broom Cupboards, and other stuff

** **

Draco Malfoy strode down the hallway, his cloak billowing behind him. He kept glancing behind him, as if he was afraid someone was following him.

The truth was, just a few nights ago, he discovered he had super-natural powers, and could become Ferret Boy at the blink of an eye. Draco was still getting used to it, as having his clothes transfigured at any point in time was a very startling process, especially when his was with his best girl, Pansy.

That had happened just last night, and it was quite embarrassing-one minute in his boxers and nothing else with Pansy next to him, the next minute bursting out of a broom cupboard in a tight (very, very tight) leather-look catsuit, with a silver cape and bright green undies worn over the top…not a really good look. The fact that he could sort of fly didn't make the whole "ferret boy" thing fun.

It was horrible-he had to go around _saving_ people-apart from the fact he was hopeless at heroics-he was usually the bad guy, setting these things up for other people to run around after him trying to save whoever it is he involved this time without breaking their necks.

***

Draco sat down at the back of classroom, in Snape's dungeon. It was cold in here-his superpowers didn't prevent him from getting cold.

After a few minutes of letting the class chatter aimlessly, Snape decided to start the class. "So." Snape said softly. "How are we all today?"

A general murmur rose in the class.

"What was that? I didn't hear you."

"We're good, sir." Hermione said loudly. "Could we please get on with the class? I want to _learn_." She said eagerly.

"I didn't hear you." Snape said, looking pointedly at various people in the class other than Hermione.

"She said that we were good. Did you not hear her?" Harry said, pushing his chair back and standing up. "Now, please, I'd really like to know all about…personality potions." He wiggled his eyebrows for effect.

Snape looked distastefully at Harry. "Sit down, Potter. How did you know about my class plans?"

Harry looked surprised. "Why, sir! Everybody gets an overview of what we're doing at the start of the year-you had us down for personality potions for this lesson." He pulled out a piece of parchment from his bag and waved it around in the air. "See?"

Snape looked, and felt, murderous. "The nerve of you little…" he stuck out his arm in forward direction, and slowly closed his hand, as though he was strangling someone.

Harry felt himself lift up in the air. "Ack…ack…can't…breathe!" he said, trying to pull the invisible hand off him.

Snape realized what he was doing, and abruptly stopped. Harry dropped back down in his seat, and crumpled in a heap. Ron and Hermione rushed over to him to tend him.

Draco's little bleeper vibrated. "Damn thing." He said, and whacked it hard. It kept vibrating. It was one of the gadgets that he had received with his superpowers. He was _supposed_ to dash into the nearest broom cupboard at the time and emerge dressed as Ferret Boy, ready to save the day. Right now, it was switched to vibrate mode-after all, he was in a class.

"Let that be an example for all those who annoy me." He smiled evilly, his yellowed teeth glinting in the torchlight.

"But sir, he was only trying to-" Pansy Parkinson said, for once forgetting she was a Slytherin and standing up for the people she supposedly hated.

Snape's arm reached out again, and Pansy found herself in an invisible but deadly grasp. "Please…didn't know…" her legs kicked uselessly, and Draco snapped to attention. He quickly moved to the back of the room, where there was…a broom cupboard!

He flung open the door and barged in. He didn't get very far, though- Lavendar and Seamus were in there already taking up most of the room. "Bloody hell. A chap can't even get an empty broom cupboard this year!" Draco muttered to himself, storming out and flinging the door shut. "I'll just have to change in this corner." He retreated into the dark, damp corner of the dungeon where it looked like no mop, broom or duster had touched it.

He waved his wand around himself a few times. His plain black robes and cloak were transfigured into that costume…which frankly, looked like it came from a dress-up store.

As soon as it was finished, he charged out of the corner, and raced down to the front of the classroom, where Pansy was slowly turning purple, while Harry was regaining consciousness, and Snape was looking very deadly indeed.

"Stop! In the name of all that is sacred, I beg you to stop!" Draco shouted as he tackled Snape.

Pansy dropped to the floor, completely white and devoid of life. The rest of the class looked on in horror.

"You are a $#!^* *#%@^!@#! Prepare to die!" Draco shouted as he pummeled Snape on the chest, his blows not being very effective due to their placement and his lack of muscles.

"Get off me you stupid boy! Calm down!" Snape said, taking Draco's arms and holding them against his side.

"No! You're evil! Pure EVIL! You will be destroyed!" Draco screamed, ineffectually struggling.

The rest of the class not involved in the fight on the floor were now standing in a circle around Pansy, who was still unconscious on the floor.

"D'you think she's okay?" a Slytherin girl whispered. "She's awfully pale."

Millicent Bulstrode snorted. ""Course she'll be okay. He only strangled her a little bit."

"Are you sure?" A pale, weedy looking Slytherin boy said. He nudged her with his foot. "She looks dead."

"Make way, coming through." Hermione said, business-like. "I'm qualified-I did a first aid course." She looked at everyone, who were staring at her. "What? First aid? It's a muggle thing." She looked at Pansy. "Move away, she needs air." She waved her arms at everyone, and they moved back, more in horror than anything else. She heard whispers of "mudblood", but ignored them and kept going.

By this time, Harry was fully recovered. And he didn't like the look of what was going on. Even though Snape wasn't his favourite teacher, it still didn't seem right for Malfoy to be lying on top of him, trying to kill the poor professor.

Slowly and carefully, Harry made his way over to Draco and Snape, who weren't really doing battle or wrestling or anything-Draco just struggling and kicking.

With one hand, Harry reached down, bended his knees and pulled Draco off Snape. He flung him to the side, and Draco flew through the air, hit the wall and slid down. _So much for heroics. _Draco thought.

"Do you need a hand, Professor Snape, sir?" Harry said politely, holding out a hand for him.

"Uh, no thanks, Potter." Snape said faintly. He scrambled to his feet and surveyed the classroom. "Students, you are dismissed. Anyone who needs to go to Madam Pomfrey may do so. Goodnight." And with that, Snape fainted onto the floor.

Draco jumped up and looked angrily at Harry, who was waiting for Ron and Hermione to gather up their stuff.

"You'll pay for this, Potter." He said quietly, then stormed out of the classroom.

"Ah well. Such is life." Harry shrugged. "Come on, you guys, time for lunch!" he said, before running down the hallway after Draco.

Draco was feeling very annoyed after being humiliated by the Potter, having his girlfriend being strangled and well, the whole Ferret Boy thing. "Damn it. Didn't want this to happen." He stopped and banged his head against the stone wall a few times. He didn't notice Harry coming up behind him.

"What, didn't get enough of a bashing in Potions?" Harry said, a smile on his dial.

"Go-away-Potter." Draco said, as he kept knocking his head against the cold stone. "I want some time alone."

"Whatever. Seems like some loonies never learn." Harry kept on going, leaving Draco alone in the hall way.

A/N: Okay, this probably wasn't up to standard. The truth is, I wrote it in about 1 hour. So it hasn't been thought out very much. Hopefully the next part will be better. Tell me what you want it to be!

Y'know those flames? Yes, those ones. Not that I got any, but I'll be using them for the next part...whenever that may be written...

   [1]: http://www.htmlgoodies.com/



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